I've been on OB/GYN this month. That's where I'm supposed to be today, too, but I'm home sick with a WICKED GI bug. Not fun, folks. Not fun at all.
OB/GYN has been a good month, though. My favorite part of the month has been the births. I got to deliver a baby girl during my week of Labor and Delivery nights, and assist with a C-section during my week of L&D days. I got to witness other vaginal and ceserean births as well. Every birth made my eyes well with tears because I was so overwhelmed by the beauty of birth. Such a miracle! Life is such a precious gift, and I felt honored to be a witness to and helper in the entry of new little ones into this wide world.
Besides our L&D weeks, we've had a week of GYN surgery and a week of clinic. At the beginning of the month, I had explained to the head of the program that, as a Catholic, there were certain things in the world of OB/GYN that I was unwilling to help with due to my beliefs about their morality. He was very respectful and understanding and told me that I was free to let my conscience guide me in whether or not I participated in particular surgeries or office visits. He also offered to let me spend a couple days at the OB clinic at Catholic Charities that the OB/GYN residency program staffs. I, of course, eagerly took him up on that offer, and had an amazing experience there. The resident and I saw over 20 women each day, I got some great practice at measuring fundal heights and finding fetal heart tones with a doppler, I saw some awesome ultrasounds, I got to practice my Spanish, and, while there, I didn't have to be on guard to ensure I didn't violate my conscience. The Church is doing some amazing work through Catholic Charities, and I was proud to witness it!
One of the hardest parts OB/GYN was a week of working nights. I got to spend some quality time with Julia Grace during the hours of the day I wasn't sleeping, but, since Aaron was working clinic hours, we only got to see each other for maybe 20-30 minutes from when he got home to the time I left. We got to spend a little more time together later in the evening on the couple of slow evenings I got to be the early student, dismissed to go home and sleep in my own bed before returning early the next morning to help with notes, but all in all, it was a challenging week of missing my beloved Aaron! Nothing compared to spouses who have significant separation (i.e. overseas military) but still a challenging week for us!
There was one night the other student had gone home and I was trying to catch some sleep in the student call room. The student call room is a very small, old hospital room with a creepy dark wood bunk bed and a creepy white sheet covered couch, and is only half-lit, as only one of the two fluorescent box lights on the ceiling works. Okay, okay, I guess it's probably not that creepy, but it seemed creepy to me that night, as the wind howled outside, and I kept hearing the intercom outside the room blasting alerts of code blues. As I lay on my paper thin mattress, covered with a paper thin hospital blanket, I could not sleep, which is, for me, quite unusual. I missed Aaron a lot, and wished I could be home with him in our own bed.
The very next day, the Magnificat Lenten Companion reflection ("It's Not All Right!" by Fr. John D. Corbett, O.P.) was about how during Lent, we mourn and fast due to the absence of the physical presence of our bridegroom, Christ. I thought about how much I missed and longed for Aaron the night before, during my night in the call room. How lonely I felt without him. And I realized anew - that is what we should feel for Christ. How much more should I be longing for Christ's coming? For His restoration to us in His bodily glory? For the bridegroom of my soul? Sometimes, since it has been over 2000 years since Jesus walked the earth, I think we forget that this isn't normal, this isn't right. That we were made to walk hand-in-hand with our God in the garden. The Church is the bride of Christ, and the bride is still awaiting the fullness of unification with Her spouse. Thankfully, Christ promised He would never leave us, and He didn't. He is present to us in His word and sacrament, especially the Eucharist. But, still, we miss Him. And, during this Lenten season, we mourn and fast for His visible presence, for our unification with Christ in glory.
And here's St. Paul to the rescue, to bring this somewhat circuitous post full circle :-)
"We know that all creation is groaning in labor pains even until now; and not only that, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, we also groan within ourselves as we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies." - Romans 8:22-23
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