Growing

Yesterday afternoon, I got off way early (after only working 3 hours!  I love psychiatry hours!) and picked Julia up.  I fed her shortly after we got home and she fell asleep.  It took me a little while to feel motivated to get some of the 2340924502934 things done that I needed to get done, but I worked on a list of my priority items to accomplish, got changed into some shorts, pulled my hair back, and was putting on my sneakers, actually excited to get started (I know, right?!), when Julia began crying.

Of course.

So, I went to pick her up, and she was in a very clingy, weepy mood.  Every time I tried to set her down, she started crying.  I was still feeling motivated about chipping away at the 2340924502934 things, so I decided I'd put on the Moby wrap and carry her as I got some stuff done around the house.  I had the brilliant idea to try the hip hold, which I'd never done before, and, as I wasn't sure where the Moby manual was (finding it is probably among the 2340924502934 things I need to get done) I tried to look up online how to do it.  I had trouble finding good instructions, which grew ever more frustrating as Julia continued to whine. 

Finally, I found some instructions, but I had trouble following them.  I had set Julia on our bed as I attempted to tie the Moby on.  She kept crawling toward me, crying, wanting to be held.  As she would approach the edge of the bed, I kept picking her up, setting her back down in the center of the bed, which just made her madder.  We've had the air conditioning off since it's been so nice, but yesterday was hotter, and as I kept messing with the Moby, which suddenly seemed 1209301298 yards long, I felt like it was 560985645 degrees on our house, as I was getting so hot and annoyed.  I tried to explain to Julia that the reason I wasn't holding her at that second was because I was working on a plan to be able to hold her all afternoon, even while I was doing some chores, but, while Julia is a smart 9 1/2 month old, she may have had just a little trouble following my logic. 

I finally yelled, "THIS IS TOO HARD!!!!!  I GIVE UP!!!!!" and threw the 1209301298-yard-long Moby onto my bedroom floor (making my list of things to do now 2340924502935 items long) and angrily picked Julia up and held her until she stopped crying.

As I sat there, holding Julia, my anger dissipated, and I was finally able to appreciate the gift of my beautiful baby and appreciate the situation for what it was:  ridiculous.  I thought about how stupid it was that I lost my temper over something so trivial.  And yet, as I'm sure every parent, and every person, really, can attest, it's often these silly situations that make virtue seem so hard.  To remain charitable and patient and calm in the midst of crying and messiness can seem so difficult in the heat of the moment.

But those sorts of challenges are EXACTLY what I need to grow in grace, to refine my soul.  And Julia Grace is the perfect person to stretch me.  She seems to often know the perfect way to challenge me, and she always has.  Aaron and I always used to joke that Julia was a great sleeper, except on the nights before tests, when we had a lot of studying to get done and also needed some quality sleep.  And it's true.  It seems that a lot of the time, she naturally senses stress, and that's when she adds her own stress into the mix, creating perfect opportunities for either immature meltdowns, like the one I had yesterday, or self-sacrificial poise and strength, at the precise moments it seems the hardest.

The other reason Julia is a perfect teacher for me in the school of virtue is that, at this age, nothing is ever her fault.  I should never lose my temper with anyone, but if I do lose it with Aaron, for instance, I have a much easier time rationalizing it and downplaying my sin, because he probably does have some culpability in the given situation.  Julia makes me see my shortcomings for what they are, because there aren't two-sides to the story when she's involved.  If I'm impatient, that's my own fault.  She is not at all to blame; she's just an innocent baby.

There have been times that I've thought back on times pre-baby, and have said, with a small sigh, to Aaron, "Remember how easy X, Y, or Z used to be!"  His response is always, with a smile, "Yeah.  It was too easy!"  And, I think, as usual, he's right.  Jesus never promised it would be easy, just that He would be with us.  And how can we grow in holiness if we're not stretched?  If life becomes too easy, too indulgent, too self-centered?  God knows exactly what each of His children need to grow, and, praise Him, He gives it to us!

I would never trade away Julia for "easy" any day because I love her so, so much and she brings so much goodness and joy into my life.  But, even in our "worst" moments together, our moments when it feels like it's 560985645 degrees and we're both either crying or on the verge of frustrated tears,  Julia and I are working so much good in each others' lives.  Julia is a catalyst for growth in me, and I know that God will use me as a catalyst of growth for her, despite my weaknesses and unworthiness. To God be the glory.

Happy 3/4th birthday!

Julia turned 9 months yesterday!  Hooray!

• Julia loves giving kisses!  We say, "Julia, give Mommy/Daddy a kiss!" or "Can I have a kiss?" or sometimes she just gives one out of the blue.  She opens her mouth and moves her head in quickly until her open, wet lips touch our cheeks.  She gets slobber all over us.  And it's delightful. :-)  Melts my heart every time!  She also kisses her baby doll is we ask her to kiss her baby, and while I was reading to her the other day, she kept kissing the baby in the book.  Too cute!
• Julia is such a bookworm!  She loves to sit back on our laps, listening to us read to her.  When a book ends that she's enjoyed, she often picks it back up and starts making noise until we start reading it to her again!  The other day, I read one book at least 5 times before we finally moved on to the next one.  Also, she's getting really good at turning pages.  We just loosen our grip on the next page and she grabs it and deftly turns it. 
• Sometimes, Julia crawls the "normal" way, but often, she plants her feet as she crawls, instead of crawling on her knees.  It looks really funny!  Also, she's gotten so fast!  Lately, she loves to trying to escape from the living area/study into the kitchen.
• We think Julia may be starting to connect words with the objects.  The connections aren't there completely, but we can see the wheels turning.  A couple nights ago in her bath, we kept showing her the rubber duckies and saying, "Duck!" as Julia repeated "Du!"  Then, the next morning, she saw a baby chick in the book she was looking at.  She pointed at it and said, "Du!"  Again, tonight in her bath, we wordlessly handed her a rubber ducky, and she excitedly said, "Du!"  We've noticed a few similar possible words.  May still be coincidences at this point, but may not be!  Exciting!  
• Some of Julia's recent favorite menu items: peaches, cherries, sweet potatoes, oatmeal, cottage cheese.  Usually if she's done eating she just locks her lips but on a couple occasions she sprayed food out of her mouth if she doesn't want it, which we try not to encourage by trying not to laugh... but it's hard!  She got peas all over me the other day, and I couldn't blame her... and just started laughing ;-)
• Julia loves to play peek-a-boo!  Lately, she has been grabbing blankets, clothes, boxes, toys, etc. and pulling them up over her head as we call out, "Where's Julia?" over and over.  When she finally reappears, we say, "Peek-a-boo!  There she is!" and Julia gets this huge, goofy grin on her face and starts the whole thing again.  So fun :-)  Aaron left work for a couple hours yesterday afternoon to take Julia to her Well Child Check-up, and he said she played peek-a-boo with his tie while they were waiting...ha!
• Julia cut a second tooth soon after the first one, but hasn't cut any since.
• Julia is still as active (and crazy!) as ever, drooling, knocking things over (especially her beloved blocks), clapping, making loud sounds, singing, spitting, giving raspberries (a particular favorite activity of hers while we're at church... of course!), wriggling, dancing, waving, panting, smiling, laughing, getting tickled, pulling up, banging on things, and exploring (and the one thing you don't want her to find or touch or eat is always the one thing she wants the most!).  She's a ball of energy and is a very happy little baby!  We love our Julia!

Don't you love the bib?!

Playing with a friend!

Bookworm!

Peek-a-boo!

Bang!  Bang!  Bang!

She doesn't need this quite yet...

Yummy block!

Happiest baby!

Nom nom nom lima beans!

Love.

Attempt at getting a pic of Julia in a towel ended up being a funny family photo.  And, yes, the toilet paper is from the C-Store.  Last pack, but can't complain since we haven't had to buy toilet paper in our over two years of marriage!  Many thanks, Uncle Stead!

I could not get a pic of Julia actually lying down in her crib this time for the life of me!  She's just too active.  So, I snapped one after she went to bed :-)

Stephen's Visit

Stephen made his first vows as an Augustinian friar on August 6 in Chicago.  Yay, Brother Stephen!  We were blessed that Stephen had a few weeks of vacation after that, and he came into our neck of the woods during that time.  We spent a weekend up in Wichita and the following weekend, Stephen came to Tulsa.  Julia got to meet her Great Grandma Ross while we were in Wichita too, as she had come from Topeka for the weekend.

We drove through a HUGE thunderstorm on the way to Wichita.  This is a photo I snapped as we were approaching the storm.  The rain was so hard and the visibility was so terrible that I was white-knuckled and praying hard as Aaron drove through it.  The lightening show was spectacular, though!

We spent some time on our Saturday up in Wichita out on the lake.  Julia dressed to impress in her swimsuit and hat from my cousin, and, of course, her life vest. 

After the lake, Julia took a nice bath and warmed up in a big warm towel.  I thought she looked like she was wearing a fur coat!

 

We went to mass that evening.  Stephen talked to the parishioners at the Isleys' parish about his vocation at the end of all the masses that weekend.  Julia sang a lot at mass, and sang more in the car on the way home.

Julia was a little confused by Stephen.  Who is this man in black who looks like Daddy but doesn't sound like him?

 

But Julia quickly became good friends with him since he let her chew on his long belt.  Leather is apparently a nice teething material!

 

And, of course, we had to get a few group photos :)  The grandkids with Grandma Ross...

Four generations.  Julia is the shortest, but only by a little!  ;-)

Julia with Daddy and Daddy's look alike, the dark-robed uncle.

The weekend Stephen came into Tulsa, our Militia of the Immaculata prayer village, the Upper Room, met for our monthly meeting.  After our breakfast and prayers, Stephen led a reflection based on the writings of St. Augustine, rather appropriately :-)  There were more people in attendance... I sadly didn't think to get the photo until after a couple people had already left.

It was the perfect opportunity for a photo of Julia with her godparents.  The godparents were excited.  Julia was rather nonplussed.  

We had a gathering that evening to celebrate Stephen being in town.  Unfortunately, I forgot to take any pictures.  I did take a picture of Aaron and Julia vacuuming before people came, though!  Haha!

It was a fun couple of weekends!  We look forward to the next time Stephen is able to visit!  Please keep Brother Stephen in your prayers as he continues his formation!