Umm...
This book is how I know now that I am not a foodie, because I had no idea what half of the things in the book were. Chanterelle, anyone? Xuxu? I thought those sounded like really out there names for dogs (maybe that celebrities would use for poodles and shih tzus, respectively). Opah? I thought it was what you shouted out at a big, fat greek wedding. Nopales? No clue. Luckily, there is a definition and description of each, but it's the most esoteric thing I've ever read to Julia, and highly impractical for a little girl growing up in this family. I make a mean chicken tikka masala, my tzatziki is legit, and my carnitas tacos are pretty delish... but that's about as ethnic as I get in the kitchen. I'm no foodie... or gourmet (G) or locavore (L) or even a vegetarian (V).
I got tired of trying to read the pronunciation key for all these obscure terms, so I started just singing the alphabet song as I flipped through the pages with Julia.
Aaron, however, must have let her linger on the pages quite a bit longer tonight, because she made a few new discoveries.
First, she found "Papa!" (her name for my dad).
Insightful? Decently so. My dad isn't balding and doesn't peddle fruit (hard to believe, I know), but he does have gray hair and wear reading glasses, so she wasn't entirely off the mark. Aaron texted the photo to my dad, who noticed the key missing feature by responding, "Where's the moustache?"
Unfortunately, Aaron had to respond by saying, "Haha, apparently on "Mama!"
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Insightful? I hope not. Insulting? Probably. Should I use some of this semester's loan money for upper lip electrolysis? I wasn't aware of a problem... but from the mouths of babes?
To add insult to injury, here is the whole panorama.
Not only am I the moustached male in a flannel shirt and baseball cap selling avocadoes, there were even two females on the page that she could have chosen instead! One of who is definitely a "Mama!" pushing her smugly content toddler in a stroller (!!! sound familiar, Julia?!). To be fair, I don't look that put together, especially not while shopping outdoors (okay... never ever). The other woman, though, is dressed much less well and is fairly pasty. Why not her, Julia? The red hair couldn't have been the reason (see below).
I think I liked her previous storybook "Mama!" better.
She may have been a muppet... with red hair?... no nose??... and pink skin??? (okay, okay, can't argue with that one)... but at least she was a female... and didn't have facial hair.
My main question is this: if her mother is a man with a mustache and her father is a monkey, how did she end up being so gorgeous?
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| "There can only be one explanation," Julia thought slowly... |
She must believe that she was adopted. A sophisticated face like that must come from people who cook with quinoa (Q), radicchio (R), and saffron (S), right?
