A year ago today, I was at the hospital meeting Julia for the first time. In honor of Julia's first birthday, I thought I'd tell the story!
Julia was due on December 7, the Tuesday of finals week. We began praying for Julia as soon as we knew we were pregnant, but as soon as we knew the due date, we also began praying for Julia to be late ;-) We liked to joke that if Julia really was our child,
surely she would be late, as we were always running late to class. We knew we could take finals in January if we had to, but we really hoped that we would get through all of them, so we wouldn't have to be studying for them with a newborn and trying to take them a month late.
The week of finals was pretty rough. I was physically and mentally exhausted, but was just trying to make it through to the end. I remember the night before our last two finals. I didn't have to do well on either of them to keep my grade in the class, so I just couldn't get motivated to study. I sat there in our recliner doing Sudokus instead for most of the night.
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| Taken right around my due date - in the middle of finals week! |
And then, finally, that Friday afternoon we were done! We were planning on going to the school's Holiday Ball that evening, but after our final that afternoon, I had to go into the hospital for a non-stress test. While I was there, I started having some pretty decent contractions! They made me stay longer than I had anticipated, but ultimately let me go. By the time we left the hospital, we wouldn't have been able to make it to the event on time, and I was starting to hurt a little, so we decided to skip it. Instead, we went to Target to make some last minute purchases for the baby. We got some Chik-Fil-A to go for dinner and went back to our house to watch some TV and take it easy. The contractions continued to get a little worse as the night wore on, but were still not too bad for me to be able to fall asleep that night.
I woke up really early the next morning due to intensifying contractions, and let Aaron sleep in while I began timing them. At this point, they were still several minutes apart. I worked on some thank you notes from some of the baby showers. After Aaron woke up, he took over the time keeping. We both spent a lot of time doing course evaluations, which was boring work. We also spent time cleaning the apartment, and getting all our final preparations done for the baby. Nothing like final exams to make you put off nesting until the eleventh hour! ;-) At one point, my sister Elizabeth came over from TU to go on a walk with me around my neighborhood. The contractions became more painful and closer together. Finally, that evening, I took a hot bath, that helped ease the pain. When I got out of the bath, the contractions were super intense and very close together, and it was finally time to call the doctor and head to the hospital! By this time it was around 8:30 pm - it had been a lllllloooooooonnnnnnnggggggggg day!
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| Last photo of Julia inside me! On our way to the hospital at last! |
Once at the hospital, they quickly determined that I was there to stay. I spent some time walking and breathing and doing the things I'd learned about in birthing class to manage the pain, but finally made a decision around midnight that I'd get an epidural. I have such respect for all laboring women, epidural or no, but for me, after being worn out by such a long day of labor, the relief I got around 1 am was heavenly ;-) My family stopped by for a quick visit and brought Aaron some dinner (poor guy hadn't eaten yet!) and then Aaron and I finally went to sleep around 2:30 am. At 4 am, I was awoken suddenly by nurses rushing into the room, checking monitors, helping me change positions, and putting an oxygen mask on me. Even with all that commotion, Aaron didn't wake up initially! I was calling out his name from under my mask, but he didn't hear me. When he did wake, he was pretty startled! As it turns out, I had had 5 very stong contractions in very quick succession, which stressed the baby and caused her heart rate to drop dangerously low. They stabilized the baby, but my body reacted to the incident by slowing the contractions back down. Also, I began to show some signs of placental insufficiency, meaning there was concern about the baby getting enough oxygen. From this point on, Aaron and I were pretty worried. We held hands and prayed both together and silently for our baby's health and safety.
A few hours later, I was started on pitocin to try to get the contractions to pick back up again. Once they had, my doctor broke my water, around 8 am that morning. Unfortunately, without the cushion of amniotic fluid and a possibly problematic configuration of the umbilical cord (with each contraction, the baby's head pushed on the cord, cutting off her own oxygen supply), the baby's heart rate began to drop precipitously low again. They put me back on oxygen and had me shift positions, which helped the baby's heart rate climb back up again, but my doctor decided that it was not worth the risk to continue the labor process and determined that I would need an emergency C-section. Though I'd really, really wanted to avoid a C-section and my doctor had too, I was ready and willing to do whatever I needed to do to ensure my baby a safe, healthy delivery!
From the time my water was broken to the time the baby arrived, only 45 minutes elapsed. I was prepped for surgery and taken to the OR, where the anesthesiologist made sure I was numb from my neck down. He had to do some adjusting because the first time he tested the anesthesia, I could still feel pain on the right half of my body! My doctor said it was actually a good thing I'd already had an epidural because it saved a lot time, allowing the anesthesiologist a second attempt at numbing me for the C-section. My doctor said if I hadn't had one and the anesthesia hadn't worked the first time, they wouldn't have had time for second attempt and would have used general anesthesia - meaning I wouldn't have been awake for my baby's birth! So, I ended up being really grateful for a second reason that I got the epidural!
Aaron had donned scrubs and met us in the OR. I felt everything that was done to me (cutting, pulling, etc.), but it wasn't painful - which made for a rather bizarre experience! Our OB knew, of course, that we were in med school, so she said the layers as she cut through them ("Okay, now cutting through Camper's. Now Scarpa's!"). Aaron was mesmerized watching the whole thing ;-) As it turns out, Julia was not well positioned for labor. Her head was not engaged at all and Aaron said the first part of Julia he saw when I was cut open was her ear! When Julia was finally out, the OB had to remind Aaron, "Tell your wife what you have!" and Aaron shared the news, "It's a girl!" They showed me my beautiful girl and I was crying tears of joy. Such a powerful moment! :-) Julia was born at 8:44 am and weighed 8 lbs 3 oz and was 21 inches long.
Aaron went with Julia to see her get all cleaned up, and I was in surgery for a while longer while they sewed me back up. We were all reunited soon back in our Labor and Delivery Room, and I got to hold my daughter for the first time! I was pretty numb, but it was still the best feeling in the world :-)
Aaron and I agreed that her name would be Julia Grace; we'd chosen it before she was born, but I'd wanted to see her face to make sure it fit her before deciding on it 100%. Julia is after my confirmation saint, St. Julie Billiart, an amazing woman of God. Grace is because we feel that Julia is a such a beautiful gift to us from God, and we feel so blessed by God's life-giving love. And, as a bonus, Julia has another patroness - Our Lady of Grace! And, she was born on Dec. 12, the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, which, that year was a Sunday - Gaudete Sunday! Rejoice! It was also my Grandpa Beam's birthday. So, for many reasons, it was a very special day to be born! :-)
The rest of Julia's birthday was a blur of happily baby-gazing/cuddling/feeding, visiting with friends and family, gradually getting sensation back after being numb from the shoulders down, and trying to finally get a little rest after a long day and night of labor and a major surgery.
We were in the hospital until Tuesday evening, when we went back to our tiny apartment and began having other adventures. When Julia was so new, I kept thinking, "I can't believe you're finally here! It's you! Finally outside! I have a
daughter!
I have a daughter!" It was wild! (It
still blows my mind sometimes!)
At the time, Julia's birthday was the happiest day of my life, but, honestly,
every day with Julia just keeps getting better and better, and my heart just keeps expanding, growing in love for my little family. I am so, so grateful to God for my vocation. For my husband, who loves me for who I am, who works so hard and sacrifices so much for love of God and his ladies, who makes me want to be a better person, who is with me through laughter and tears, who
shares life with me. For my precious Julia, the
light of our life, who brightens every day with her smile, who brings joy with her laughter, who melts our hearts with her hugs and kisses, who shows us the goodness of God through her innocence. Life is so good, and it just keeps getting better. I can't wait to see what God has in store for this next year!
Praise Him, praise Him!
"You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise you, because I am wonderfully made; wonderful are your works! My very self you know. My bones are not hidden from you, When I was being made in secret, fashioned in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me unformed; in your book all are written down; my days were shaped, before one came to be."
- Psalm 139:13-16
