A Letter to My Four-Year-Old Daughter

I wrote this letter the day after Julia's birthday last December. I can't believe Julia will be five soon!

My dearest Julia,

It’s 12/13/14 and you turned four yesterday. Four! You have been so excited about this birthday, telling everyone you see that you just turned four! And, of course, everyone shares in your genuine joy. It really is a magical age.

Julia's birthday dessert sushi!

Daddy and I took you out to your favorite restaurant for sushi for dinner last night. You wore your birthday crown from school and your eyes were lit up like stars because you were so proud and excited to be four years old. Your daddy and I bought you a miraculous medal and a collection of Disney princess dolls for your birthday. You were equally excited about both, which was so sweet. You had been wanting a miraculous medal just like mommy’s for a long time, and I promised you one for your birthday. You had also been really into Barbies, fairy tales, and Disney this year, so your daddy was so excited to give you a present that combined so many things that you love. You were so excited to open them, and you took two of your new princess dolls to bed with you. I had to go in later to make you sleep, though, because you were staying up making the dolls talk and sing to each other late into the night.

Tonight, we had a party for you at Gee and Papa’s house. Gee bought Sophia decorations, because that is your favorite show. You were so excited to receive all your gifts. Your aunt Meghan commented, “Don’t you all wish everyone reacted like that when given a present?” because you were so excited and gushed with joy and gratitude with each new package. The birthday cake I made looked beyond horrible, but you didn’t see that. You just saw a cake frosted in your favorite color with four candles, surrounded by so many of the people who love you best. You were so happy to hear us sing to you, and you asked everyone who called you for your birthday to sing to you, too. That song seemed to really mean a lot to you this year.

Every birthday you have is bittersweet for me, Julia. The nostalgic in me gets misty-eyed thinking about how much you’ve grown and how fast you’ve done it. Each year seems to go by more quickly than the one before it. As much as I sometimes wish I could pause time or bottle these precious moments, though, I can’t keep you little forever, nor would I want to.  I am happy you are growing and each day becoming more strong and sure and vibrant. I am grateful that you continue to grow in knowledge and skill and virtue. I marvel at how tall you are now, how deftly you climb, how quickly you run. I delight in your long, rambling stories. I smile when I see you sharing sweetly with your cousin. I am amazed sometimes by your awareness of the needs of people around you, and your desire to meet those needs.  You love to share your food more than anyone I know, and you won’t take no for an answer when you are set on feeding someone! I get weary at times of trying to rein in your propensity to be bossy, but I also silently cheer for you that you are so confident in who you are and what you want. I feel sure that some of the traits we work on now will easily be strengths when they become more refined.

I was only 23 when you were born, and I’ve grown so much by being your mother. When I look back at photos of us from December four years ago, I see quite obviously how much you’re grown, but I also see how much I’ve grown. You’ve forced me out of my comfort zone in so many ways. You’ve forced me to care less about me, and more about others. You’ve made me worry less about what the world thinks, and more about what is beautiful, true, and holy. You’re made me into a more courageous person, to advocate for you and for other vulnerable people in my midst. You’ve helped me to not take life too seriously, giving me multiple opportunities per day to laugh and smile and sing. You’re helped me to discover the wonder of the world around me. I hoped I’ve done this much for you and more, but I can’t ever thank you enough for bursting onto the scene and making my world that much more beautiful, and making me become a better me.

Your daddy and I pray daily that you will know how loved you are, by God and by us, and that you will continue to be strong and healthy, and grow daily in grace and virtue.  We hope we can give you a solid foundation of faith, hope, and love. Words cannot how express how proud we are of you, nor how grateful we are to God for entrusting you, His daughter, to us. We love you so very much, Julia Grace. Happy birthday, sweetie.

Love,

Mommy